Rejection of the Heart – Chapter Seven

• 

 Just as Chris had told me, Dimitri was up in his room. When I walked into his room, he was sitting on the floor with his legs crossed and his eyes closed. I stepped further into the room, trying not to disturb him. I didn’t realize he did meditation in his spare time. I had never really bothered going into his room to talk to him. I wasn’t sure what had gotten into me, I was curious about Demitri. 

• 

I crept over as quiet as I could, sitting down in front of Dimitri, who didn’t even seem to know I was there. I watched him meditate without moving a muscle. It was mesmerizing how in-depth he was, I could only wonder what was going through his mind. 

• 

All a sudden he opened his eyes, staring at me with such a serious look that finally turned into amusement. “I’m glad you think I’m funny,” I smirked.

• 

“Emily, I knew you were there the whole time. You couldn’t be quiet if your life depended on it,” he laughed.

“Well, my life doesn’t depend on it, but it would be nice if you would teach me some defense moves,” I say with a smile. 

“We were supposed to meet up in the workout room, not in my room,” he replied.

• 

I leaned back, looking away. “What difference does it really make, I will be able to concentrate on the lessons if no one is grunting beside me on the treadmill,” I say in a soft voice. 

• 

He stood, pulling me up off the floor. “Alright, just this time.”

“OK, first you will need to learn self-defense. This will help you fend off someone if they try to attack you. Here’s what I want you to do,” he explained as he placed me in a spot to play the attacker while he played the victom.

• 

“Hit me,” he says as he moves a few feet from me. 

“What?’ I asked a little confused.

“I want to see how good you can hit,” he says. 

“So you want me to just… hit you?” I asked again a little confused.

“Yes, so I can tell you what you need to change,” he replied.

• 

I balled up my fist and tried to rush at him. I threw my fist at him but he moved out of the way with no effort at all. I swung again and missed with the same results.

• 

I was about ready to give up when Dimitri looked at me with a fierce look. “You want to learn to protect yourself, well then you need to put aside the frustration and any other emotion you have, it will only get you killed in the long run. Attack me again,” he demanded. I didn’t listen to what he said, without a second thought, I tried to hit him again. 

• 

As I swung I missed completely, falling down on the floor. I scuffed my knee as it took the brunt of the fall… I groaned out in pain as it began to sting.

• 

“Are you alright?” Dimitri asked as he knelt down in front of me. He towered over me as I tried to hold back the tears of humiliation and hurt. It’s alright, this is your first time at this. It’s going to be awkward and hard at first. The more you practice the better you will be to fend off attackers. Anytime you don’t want to do this, we can stop,” he explained.

• 

I finally looked up meeting his brown eyes that held me captive. He was so close as he talked to me. My heart began to race and I found it hard to breathe. His eyes, those sweet dark eyes. I couldn’t think of anything as I stared into his eyes. I couldn’t even concentrate on what he was saying, this was starting to happen to me lately. 

• 

I wasn’t even thinking as I moved closer to him. I wanted him to touch me, I wanted his lips on mine. I moved against him, making him fall back onto his butt. Dimitri’s eyes grew wide when I fell against his chest. “What are you doing?” he asked. 

• 

I wrapped my arms around him as I leaned in meeting his lips with mine. His lips were warm and sweet just as I had imagined that they would be. He started to pull away but must have changed his mind as he gently kissed me back.

• 

He relaxed a little, then I felt his arms wrap around me. He pulled me close as he kissed me with more fierceness. His kiss was now hungry and yearning like mine. We kissed and kissed. Oh, how I loved feeling his lips move along mine. It was a sweet bliss that was tore from me when he finally pulled away.

• 

He let go of me, then shifted me off him. He stood up then handed me his hand to help me up. I stood up with ease as he pulled me to my feet.  

• 

When I regained my footing I stepped toward Dimitri to feel his lips on mine again, but he stopped me by putting his hand on my arm. 

• 

He held my arm while he stroked my face with his other hand. “We can’t do this, this must never happen again. Do you understand,” he told me as I choked back the tears that were threatening to take over. I was crushed, I didn’t want to hear it, I just wanted him, that’s all I wanted. I wanted his arms to hold me, his lips to kiss me, but instead, he was pulling away.

“You don’t want me?” I asked in shock.

“It’s not that, I’m your protector, your guardian, the one who protects you from harm. Plus I’m much older, you are a royal, I am not. We are forbidden to be together, it must not happen,” he said with strain in his voice.

His eyes burned with passion and hurt all at the same time. I could tell that he was struggling not to pull me back into his arms, but he would not falter. He stood there serious, not moving.

“You must go,” he said as he released me and turned away so I couldn’t see his face.

• 

“But………….” is all I could get out before he repeated for me to go. Feeling defeated I turned and left him in his room. As I walked down the steps I was mixed with so many emotions, I couldn’t let him see me cry. The tears threatened me as my heart broke from the rejection. 

• 

I went straight to my room so no one would see me. I walked over to my dresser, staring into the mirror at the reflection that stared back at me. How could he not think I was pretty? How could he not want to be with me? I kept asking myself over and over as the tears weld up in my eyes.

• 

I couldn’t hold it back any longer, I let the tears flow down my cheeks as I crawled onto my bed. I had never felt this much pain in my heart before, I had never felt this strong about anyone. I had finally found someone that I wanted to be with, and I couldn’t be with him. Life didn’t seem that fair as I laid there crying my self asleep.